I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
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i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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