um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
