And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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