Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
