got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
