Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Randomize
