I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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