i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
