worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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