She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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