oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
