i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
