Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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