I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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