You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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