so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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