So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
