I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
