dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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