Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
