What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
