Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
