can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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