If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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