Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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