but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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