if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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