Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
