the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
