Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize