You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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