Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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