I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My ass is underappreciated
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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