we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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