Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize