I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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