i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
BRING THE BAGELS
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
