She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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