Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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