yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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