We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
