im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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