Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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