And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
