if i can run in heels then i can drive
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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