What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
