Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize