i think i have two assholes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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