does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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