office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
