but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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