Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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