if i died would you start the facebook group?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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