bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize