So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
