Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
