He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
