Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize