Those balls look pretty dangerous.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize