Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
