My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
